Perspectives on Challenged Family Building

As a child, I never considered hitting my mother. It didn’t even occur to me that I had that option. Even during times when I was particularly angry with her, I accepted her decision with no violence. Yet, there are some adopted children—with traumatic beginnings—who daily, hit, kick, bite, slap, push and shove their parents [...]

“Why did you eat all the cookies?” “Why did you take your sister’s iPod?” “Why isn’t your room clean yet?” “Why didn’t you take the trash out?” “Why did you hit your brother?” This list could go on infinitely! The traumatized adoptee’s behavior prompts “Why?” from his baffled parents—over and over!

In some instances, “Why?” is [...]

As many adoptive parents know, a moment of praising, complimenting or “patting the adoptee on the back” can cause a sudden period of poor behavior! As soon as Mom or Dad says, “Wow, you have been good all week!” or “You’ve been getting along so well with your sister”, things go downhill—quickly!
 
Yet, all parents want [...]